The first symptom of failure in marriage counseling is failing to conduct adequate research before selecting a counselor for your relationship. As I usually tell my friends who feel that choosing any marital counselor would help, this would not be the case in this case. The explanations aren’t too far-fetched; they’re either single or divorced, or they’re in a dissatisfying marriage.
It is impossible for marriage therapy to be effective when the two parties have opposing goals. In the case of a couple when one spouse is more devoted to performing the necessary effort than the other, therapy will not be effective. It will also not work if any of the partners is not entirely honest with the other partners.
If you live with a person who is resentful, angry, or emotionally abusive, it is possible that you have attempted marriage therapy, which only made things worse in your household. Couples that come to our boot camps for persistent resentment, hostility, or emotional abuse have often seen an average of three marriage counselors before they arrive at our facility.
One of the primary reasons for their dissatisfaction is that marital therapy assumes that both partners possess self-regulation skills – the capacity to maintain self-worth while regulating feelings of guilt, shame, and inadequacy without feeling entitled to place blame on one another.